Ever have one of those really traumatic dreams that wakes you, completely wakes you, and scares you half to death?
You know the ones - something terrible usually happens to close ones in it. And you wake with a start, really upset, unable to get back to sleep for fear of the dream being some hallmark of reality, some kind of premonition?
It's the very early morning here, and I've just had one of those. Makes you realise that, for all the drudgery that may be present, should that dream become reality, your life would just become a withering shadow of what once was. But it also gives you a wake up call - perhaps there are important details that families need to share.
Where do you keep your important documents? Does your family (specifically those not living in the same house) have the important contact numbers of those who could keep things running on a short-term basis? Have you had the organ donation, and body wishes discussions?
Just something to ponder, in the still of the night....
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Escaping
Do you ever just feel that you want (need) to run away and escape elements of your life?
This feeling is not foreign to me, I've wanted to escape deranged men, runs of bad luck and bad health before. I've probably also wanted to escape financial challenges before. But not like this. I feel like I'm doing the right things, living an honest life, working hard (well, I AM on holidays right now hehe), not bludging off the system. I try to be fiscally sensible (and yes, it's taken me the better part of 2 years to reign that one in). But, at the end of the day, being a single parent, with a mortgage the size of the one I had when I was with my ex-husband and we were on 2 incomes, is a challenge.
I just feel like I'm taking one step forward, two steps backwards at the moment, and have done for the past while. I used to ignore those bills I couldn't afford, but then, as I was suffering depression, that's probably not all that surprising - when you're struggling day to day emotionally and mentally, sometimes it's just easier to ignore it. Not that that gets you anywhere ;-)
I use a modern approach to "money bags" for all my energy, rates bills etc, but I am still getting hit with these massive bills - in the week before Christmas, $400 in strata fees, $600 for the accountant (2 years...)...that I just can't cover with trying to cover the interest on my credit card (which i haven't used for quite some time, might I add, I'm just not getting the amount lowered because of the interest).
I guess right now, i just want to run away from my money problems.
Which got me thinking - where do you run away to? Physically? Mentally?
Me, I like to run away down south, or I run away from everyone and hibernate at home. I tend to up my yoga committment too.
So what do you do?
This feeling is not foreign to me, I've wanted to escape deranged men, runs of bad luck and bad health before. I've probably also wanted to escape financial challenges before. But not like this. I feel like I'm doing the right things, living an honest life, working hard (well, I AM on holidays right now hehe), not bludging off the system. I try to be fiscally sensible (and yes, it's taken me the better part of 2 years to reign that one in). But, at the end of the day, being a single parent, with a mortgage the size of the one I had when I was with my ex-husband and we were on 2 incomes, is a challenge.
I just feel like I'm taking one step forward, two steps backwards at the moment, and have done for the past while. I used to ignore those bills I couldn't afford, but then, as I was suffering depression, that's probably not all that surprising - when you're struggling day to day emotionally and mentally, sometimes it's just easier to ignore it. Not that that gets you anywhere ;-)
I use a modern approach to "money bags" for all my energy, rates bills etc, but I am still getting hit with these massive bills - in the week before Christmas, $400 in strata fees, $600 for the accountant (2 years...)...that I just can't cover with trying to cover the interest on my credit card (which i haven't used for quite some time, might I add, I'm just not getting the amount lowered because of the interest).
I guess right now, i just want to run away from my money problems.
Which got me thinking - where do you run away to? Physically? Mentally?
Me, I like to run away down south, or I run away from everyone and hibernate at home. I tend to up my yoga committment too.
So what do you do?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Too much month at the end of your money?
What do you do when you have too much month at the end of your money?
Honestly, it was hard enough financially when there were 2 incomes to survive on. Contrary to popular belief, I get no financial assistance from the government (apart from a small Family Tax Benefit I get once a year), as this single mumma earns "too much". Legally, I'm supposed to be paying my ex-husband child support, even though custody is shared 50/50, and he's also working. Thankfully, I've managed to negotiate that we both contribute to cover child care (which, this year, will hopefully not be needed, so we can start using the money for other things for my lil boy).
When I work it out, my mortgage takes up 52% of what I get cash in hand from working full-time (I still have a HECS debt from university study). Manadatory bills (rates, energy, insurance) takes up 25%. So we're at 77% already. Then there's petrol & groceries & phone bill - another 20%, so it's 97%. That gives me 3% of my income to pay that child support, and live. Not much.
Financial stress really is one stressor there are limited things you can do about. Emotional stress you can practice mindfulness, see a counsellor, etc etc. At the end of the day, we only have one amount of money coming in, and can do limited things about what's going out.
I guess what I want to know is, what do you do to
a) ensure your money lasts as long as you can into the month / fortnight?
b) money-saving tips
These are a couple of mine:
* Every pay I transfer a set amount to all possible providers of bills - it's an amount I've averaged out over a year. Then when the bill comes, I'm generally only owing a very small amount, if at all.
* I bake a lasagne every month, and that provides a few decent frozen, cost-effective meals for when money runs out.
* I only grocery shop once every pay, and meal plan as best I can, only buying milk and bread in between
* I visit the Family Restaurant (i.e. mum & dad's) as often as I can to scab leftovers or eat with them lol
* I buy cheap wine ($3.30 a bottle) if I want wine.
* I rarely use the air conditioner, and limit energy consumption in general
* I buy bacon, cocktail frankfurts (my son has these for lunches etc) from the deli counter - much cheaper than pre-packaged.
Any other tips????
Honestly, it was hard enough financially when there were 2 incomes to survive on. Contrary to popular belief, I get no financial assistance from the government (apart from a small Family Tax Benefit I get once a year), as this single mumma earns "too much". Legally, I'm supposed to be paying my ex-husband child support, even though custody is shared 50/50, and he's also working. Thankfully, I've managed to negotiate that we both contribute to cover child care (which, this year, will hopefully not be needed, so we can start using the money for other things for my lil boy).
When I work it out, my mortgage takes up 52% of what I get cash in hand from working full-time (I still have a HECS debt from university study). Manadatory bills (rates, energy, insurance) takes up 25%. So we're at 77% already. Then there's petrol & groceries & phone bill - another 20%, so it's 97%. That gives me 3% of my income to pay that child support, and live. Not much.
Financial stress really is one stressor there are limited things you can do about. Emotional stress you can practice mindfulness, see a counsellor, etc etc. At the end of the day, we only have one amount of money coming in, and can do limited things about what's going out.
I guess what I want to know is, what do you do to
a) ensure your money lasts as long as you can into the month / fortnight?
b) money-saving tips
These are a couple of mine:
* Every pay I transfer a set amount to all possible providers of bills - it's an amount I've averaged out over a year. Then when the bill comes, I'm generally only owing a very small amount, if at all.
* I bake a lasagne every month, and that provides a few decent frozen, cost-effective meals for when money runs out.
* I only grocery shop once every pay, and meal plan as best I can, only buying milk and bread in between
* I visit the Family Restaurant (i.e. mum & dad's) as often as I can to scab leftovers or eat with them lol
* I buy cheap wine ($3.30 a bottle) if I want wine.
* I rarely use the air conditioner, and limit energy consumption in general
* I buy bacon, cocktail frankfurts (my son has these for lunches etc) from the deli counter - much cheaper than pre-packaged.
Any other tips????
What makes you happy?
For me?...My cakes!
I've taken to creating cakes for my son and friends, and have just been asked to do my first paid job - a friends' wedding cupcakes and top tier cake! I enjoy the design, creation, meticulous nature of working with icing (especially as one who has clammy hands). I enjoy watching the creation. I enjoy watching the happiness on the receivers' faces. I enjoy the challenge.
I wanted to share some of the positive things I've worked on in the past 18 months, some things that have made me happy!
Thomas' second birthday cake - Wiggles car!
Thomas' fourth (and most challenging) birthday cake - 3D dinosaur!
My BFF's daughter, Rhea's, fourth birthday cake - my gift to her
I've taken to creating cakes for my son and friends, and have just been asked to do my first paid job - a friends' wedding cupcakes and top tier cake! I enjoy the design, creation, meticulous nature of working with icing (especially as one who has clammy hands). I enjoy watching the creation. I enjoy watching the happiness on the receivers' faces. I enjoy the challenge.
I wanted to share some of the positive things I've worked on in the past 18 months, some things that have made me happy!
Thomas' second birthday cake - Wiggles car!
Thomas' fourth (and most challenging) birthday cake - 3D dinosaur!
My BFF's daughter, Rhea's, fourth birthday cake - my gift to her
Monday, January 9, 2012
What's it worth?
18 months of insanity later, I'm back on the blog!
18 months which brought me a sociopath I needed to take a restraining order against, an unstable bipolar sufferer, a car accident, surgery, Ross River Virus, and a very scary time with my son who stopped breathing on the way to hospital with me, to be treated for severe asthma. Thank God he made it.
That moment has actually brought me to write today.
I have taken to a popular internet dating site, and been chatting to a guy for a few weeks now. We really hit it off, and were texting 'til the early hours. Have a lot in common, and he's funny. BUT his profile said he was an occasional / social smoker.
I met him last night, and enjoyed his company. However conversation revealed that he had perhaps underestimated how much he smoked - I don't think that between 3-4 and a pack of cigarettes a day constitutes occasional / social smoking.
I have a very strong opinion on this one, and with my son's asthma, I just won't knowingly put him in the vacinity of smokers - whether they smoke near him or not, it's still on clothes, then they sit on the couch... Aside from that, I hate it. I've got a friend moving in for a couple of months, and this friend is giving up to move in here.
When you've seen your son stop breathing, and had to bring him back, you'll do whatever it takes. And I know smoking might not seem like a big deal to some (in fact, he replied that he had asthma himself and smoking hadn't affected it), but I'm not prepared to compromise on this one - I will not get involved in a relationship with someone who smokes.
My question is, do you think it's worth discarding a relationship with someone because they smoke?
18 months which brought me a sociopath I needed to take a restraining order against, an unstable bipolar sufferer, a car accident, surgery, Ross River Virus, and a very scary time with my son who stopped breathing on the way to hospital with me, to be treated for severe asthma. Thank God he made it.
That moment has actually brought me to write today.
I have taken to a popular internet dating site, and been chatting to a guy for a few weeks now. We really hit it off, and were texting 'til the early hours. Have a lot in common, and he's funny. BUT his profile said he was an occasional / social smoker.
I met him last night, and enjoyed his company. However conversation revealed that he had perhaps underestimated how much he smoked - I don't think that between 3-4 and a pack of cigarettes a day constitutes occasional / social smoking.
I have a very strong opinion on this one, and with my son's asthma, I just won't knowingly put him in the vacinity of smokers - whether they smoke near him or not, it's still on clothes, then they sit on the couch... Aside from that, I hate it. I've got a friend moving in for a couple of months, and this friend is giving up to move in here.
When you've seen your son stop breathing, and had to bring him back, you'll do whatever it takes. And I know smoking might not seem like a big deal to some (in fact, he replied that he had asthma himself and smoking hadn't affected it), but I'm not prepared to compromise on this one - I will not get involved in a relationship with someone who smokes.
My question is, do you think it's worth discarding a relationship with someone because they smoke?
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