It's been a while, I know.

Honestly, when I begin to contemplate putting the events and emotional turmoil of the past few months into words, I feel exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted.

I'll not detail just yet where the past few months have taken me, both physically and emotionally. I'll start with where I am now.

My new life has begun. I am the proud owner of my own abode, sharing joint parenting of my son (mostly amicably), and working full-time. It's been a huge few months, and it's taken its toll over the past week, with me taking 2 days leave to rest and recoup, and refocus. To try to get over this complete exhaustion.

I've spent time with 2 people of particular importance, with a third who's been in the wings for a couple of months, but have not managed to 'tee anything up' with, which is why he's getting the flick me thinks.

The first person is one I've spoken of before. We've spent a little more time together, with him coming for dinner twice in the 3 weeks I've been in my new house. He was over again last night. The conversation flows so freely, and I believe we both enjoy each others' company. But I really don't know if there's anything other than friendship on his part. I don't know if he's interested in anything more, but is keen on slow, or if he is really only ever going to be a friend, despite what we've shared before. I know my feelings towards him echo the former. I just need to know his, to alleviate the 'what is he thinking?', 'what does he want?' questions that occupy my mind.

The second person has been off the scene for a couple of months. We spent time together for the first few months of the year, but it was confined to within the 4 walls of his bedroom, and I grew tired of this - reading back through my posts, it's confirmed for me that I don't want this type of relationship. I need more what lies with the first person, with intimacy and affection thrown in.

This second person came back onto the scene last weekend, and has indicated he wants to see me again, and to see my new abode. I just don't know that I'm willing to share it with him - I don't want to share my bedroom with him if it's of the nature it was previously. Yet, I was more than happy for the first person to spend the night lying next to me, intimacy or no intimacy.

I just don't know...